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Name: nymom New Member   Title: Do I need a new lawyer?

I make more money than my husband. He is essentially lazy and has taken 3 jobs, each one lower paying than the other since I asked for a divorce. I am willing to buy him out of the house, give him half of savings etc. and fully support the kids. He will pay no child support, which is fine for a period of time, but he also wants maintenance, and the judge wants to give it to him. If I pay him anywhere near what he's looking for, I have to either sell the house and find an inexpensive apartment withthe kids, or completely change their lifestyle and subject them to basically living hand to mouth, no extras, no activities, nothing.

My question is, since no one, including my lawyer, can provide me with a legal or logical reason that I would need to pay support, why does my lawyer tell me the only way around this is to go to trial? I dont want to drag my kids through this. and I dont have the money to keep paying the lawyer.

In the meantime, as this has been going on for over a year, my husband wont leave the house, and basically spends all of his time traveling with friends, taking his girlfriend out, getting tattoos, etc, and has basically burned through the savings we split.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks.

Name: Dredy72 New Member

It's funny I came across this post. I'm really enjoying this site. Such a wealth of information. My best friend is going through a similar situation where he doesn't want to drag his kids into this and not enough money to hire a high priced lawyer. He doesn't want to give his wife of 11 years part of his pension, which I have been explaining to him, although not yet divorced, that woman was his everything. She stuck by him through thick and thin for 11 years. I know, I was there and knew all that he did as a man behind his womans back. I'm no angel but I'm wanting him to be fair. She is the mother of his kids. I myself will be filing for my divorce through the divorce4her site!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one here interested in saving money, lol. Take care.

Dre

Name: RecordRoller72 New Member

Thanks for the info guys. I checked out that divorce4her site. It's Awesome!!! And OMGsh, the price!! A fraction of the cost of a lawyer. Thanks a lot. I started mine this past Monday. Can't wait...

Shawn

Name: JillnoJack007 New Member

NYmom, no you don't need a lawyer to get a divorce these days. I recently started looking into divorce and was sent a link by one of my associates at work. She recently divorced her husband and was able to go the no lawyer route. She used a do it yourself service that made it really easy on her. Here's the link she sent me http://www.divorce4her.com/testimonies.html. It really helped and I hope it can help someone too.

Jill

Name: Bubbastreet1 New Member

I would suggest you try calling your local county courthouse and inquiring about legal aid. In most states, legal aid can provide you free legal advice. It's also always good to get insight on what "your specific state" thinks about the process of divorce and how alimony/maintenance goes with it. My spouse and I had things a bit easy because we did our divorce without lawyers. We went through divorce4her.com and believe me, it saved us lots of time and money. Stay Positive.

Barry

Name: madalex Member

It is not uncommon for the higher wage earning spouse to pay the lower wage earning spouse maintenance/spousal support/alimony for a certain period of time after a marriage ends. Usually, that means the husband pays the wife, but in your circumstances the genders are reversed. Why should that exempt you from paying him spousal support?

That being said, very few (if any) states have clear guidelines on the amount of maintenance to be paid. The fact that he has asked for a lot does not mena you have to pay him that much. make a counter offer and negotiate from there.